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Melissa Porter thinks about the union of marriage.

I’ve been thinking about getting married. In a hyperbole sort of way.

Initially prompted by a conversation with Pierce who eagerly shared details of how he plans to give me away alongside Super our French bull dog. Quite a spectacularly imaginative chat since I’ve never discussed marriage with Pierce, nor is it something I believe I desire from my life. Assuming you believe, as I do that all our words and actions (imagine these as things happening outside of ourselves) are preceded by a thought (imagine these happen inside of us).

What do Pierce and I truly believe (inside) about marriage that will one day serve to affect the choices (outside) we both make? Being a coach requires detective skills. A part of our service includes helping clients to track down and unearth the invisible deep-rooted faulty thinking going on inside of themselves keeping them stuck in a life pickle. It can be an emotionally complicated process for the client, as it relies largely on trusting their feelings and gut instinct to access deeply buried thoughts.

More often than not they are layered by beliefs they’ve chosen, that originate from the opinions of others, coupled with the fact many have forgotten how to trust their valuable instinct and true feelings as they have become conditioned humans. (By this I mean they, by and large, don’t challenge their thoughts and live passively vs passionately). They can be potentially emotionally messy, but nothing so insurmountable that an eager client and a rock star coach together can’t overcome.

Collectively all of this stuff (thoughts, stories and beliefs) going on inside of you serves as your filter through which you then perceive the outside world and make your choices from. Hence the saying; happiness is an inside job. Happiness starts with your choice of thoughts and your selection of beliefs. Your beliefs, stories and thoughts (inside stuff) are incredibly valuable emotional currency; (consider them as your personal Bitcoin or gold reserve).

These directly affect the quality of your life, whether you feel happy or sad. So, from your stock of crypto currency and gold (inside of you) with new behavioural tools, it’s from here you may start to rebuild a more authentic and healthy emotional empire for yourself. With the effect being you’ll make choices that serve you to feel like a more fulfilled and content human being. Which is why it’s key that the invisible thoughts and beliefs swirling around inside of you, all belong to you.

And that they serve your goals and dreams as opposed to those of another human who gave them to you in the first place. We’re experiencing a time in history where divorce rates are at an all-time high and the main reason why? Love is a fluid and free energy requiring an environment in which it can expand, contract and flow. It’s born from an unfiltered unconditional essence that is accepting, compassionate, passionate and kind. To experience this love within the union of a marriage, we must first embody this quality of thoughts and beliefs.

Humans need to fall back in love with themselves.